One of Earth's Most Difficult Jobs

  Behind every successful Pastor is a Lady that loves her husband and the Lord. The Pastor's wife leads a very complicated life within a Church. They are like anyone else in the fact that each one is different in their own personality, talent, devotion to their husband, devotion to their Lord.

  Their primary job in this world is to be her husband's helpmeet. Beyond that, it is her responsibility to serve the Lord faithfully as any other woman. But there is where the similarity ends. The Pastor's wife has to share her husband with a congregation of people. Her husband, that she stood at an altar with, is a focus of each member of their Church. He is the leader of those who want to be led. He is a mentor to those who want to be mentored. He is a counselor to those who want to be counseled. He has the authority of God the administer the Word of God to anyone and everyone he comes in contact with. He is the first director of activities and programs within the Church. He is the acting commander of that little army of God. That little army however is made up of a hodge-podge of personalities; Men, Women, Boys and Girls. These people come in the forms of singles, marrieds,widows,widowers and divorcees. They not only need a public servant of God but also a personal spiritual confidant. The Pastor's wife has to fit in somewhere.

  Each of these Ladies are unique. Some have the capacity to almost fill her husband's shoes if he is absent (She should never do that!). Some serve as a different kind of assistant to her husband. Some are keepers of the parsonage. All this depends upon the personality, talent, training and committment of that Lady. Her only requirement is that she serve the Lord as a helpmeet to a husband, mother to her children and a keeper of the home. Of course, her lot in life is that she is the Pastor's wife. She may or may not accompany her husband in the undescribable errands of mercy and ministry. Her husband should know that he should never be in a private place with another woman, without someone else present; the best being his wife. In the counsel of a married couple, the Pastor husband should know that his wife is the best counselor of the female counselee. This is true if the Pastor's wife is willing to play that part.

  Here is where the most difficult part of being a Pastor's wife happens, sharing her husband. Being able to accept the adoration of Church members for her husband one day and animosities toward her husband the next day. She has to watch as a beautiful little teenage girl bats her eyelashes at her husband in their conversation, or the divorcee as she tells him of a problem she has with her car battery. The Pastor's wife has to sit by and allow her husband to be the focus of the attention of any number of individuals and keep her own integrity and trust for her husband. A key thought: As long as the Pastor's wife can trust her husband, then she should not WORRY about those who approach him publically during Church services and functions. This necessitates the Pastor husband to prove himself trustworthy in all relationships. Jealousy toward others by a Pastor's wife will only cause un-necessary grief and heartache. And of course the Pastor husband must render unto his wife due benevolence. 1 Corinthians 7:3. A Pastor is not expected by God, to put his congregation or a congregant above his wife and kids. There may be emergencies, when he has to postpone his family in favor of someone of his congregation who is in dire circumstance, but that should only happen occasionally.

  If a Pastor's wife cannot be at her husband's side in his ministries then she should allow for him to take another male partner at those needed times. That is what Deacon's are for. It is literally impossible for a mother of a two year old to be constantly at her husband's side and be a fit mother. A two year old should never be raised in a day nursery. The Pastor wife, like any wife should be a fit mother to her children. Pastor, if you have a lady in your Church that needs personal counsel, then you stay at home with your two year old and let your wife go counsel the lady.

  Pastor, your wife is your most important asset to your ministry. God's rule is that you have ONE. 1 Timothy 3. You are not going to be an effective Pastor without your wife being committed to you and your ministry. I have known several dish rag pastors whose wives have left the ministry and set off on their own careers, because their husbands didn't allow them a rightful place in their ministry. She must be included to the extent she wants to be included and she has to be loved by you as God commands in Ephesians 5. It has been said that everyone in a Church has a Pastor except the Pastor's wife. This is a sad commentary on a Church. It is unacceptable for a Pastor to neglect his wife. It is also unacceptable for a Pastor's wife to interfere with her husband's ministry. Jealousies will tear a Church apart. The human weaknesses of a Pastor's marriage will hinder the work of God. The key word here is, "SHARING." The Pastor must give his wife and his Church due shares. The Pastor's wife must give her husband and his Church due shares.
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